THE FIRST DANCE

Some Questions To Consider:
1. Do you want to do a first dance?
2. When do you want to do your first dance?
3. What song should you choose for your first dance?
4. How can you modify the first dance to make it different?


1. Do you want to do a first dance?
Why you might want to do this:
A. It’s traditional.
B. It’s romantic, and the parents especially love to see it.
C. It opens up the dance floor. Traditionally, the dance floor is not open until the bridal couple has danced.

Why you might not want to do this:
A. You are going to have a very basic, non-traditional type wedding.
B. You don’t dance slow - for anything.
C. You are very shy, and a first dance out in front of your guests would cause undo hardship/anxiety.

What most couples do:
The vast majority of couples will do a first dance.


2. When do you want to do your first dance?
Some possible choices:
a. Immediately after you are introduced into the reception area.
b. After being introduced in, and cutting your wedding cake.
c. After the first course.
d. Immediately after the meal.

a. Immediately after you are introduced into the reception area.
Why you might want to do this:
A. You have some anxiety about the first dance, so you want to get it done early, and enjoy the rest of the reception.
B. You want the dance floor to be open for dancing during the meal. (Remember, the dance floor is not officially open until the Bride and Groom have danced.) Note: you should check with the Function Hall to make sure it is OK with them that you have some dancing during meal time.

Why you might not want to do this:
A. You want all your ceremonial dances grouped together, and doing that before the meal would make your guests wait too long to eat.
B. You’re running late, and by the time you get to the reception spot, the meal is ready to be served. (This is obviously a decision that would be made at the last minute, but if you can foresee this being a possible problem, you may want to head it off by planning to do the first dance later, after the meal)
C. The Function Hall does not allow dancing during dinner, and you’d just as soon prefer to wait until after dinner.

b. After being introduced in, and cutting your wedding cake.
Why you might want to do this:
Mostly, this is personal preference. There are some advantages to cutting the cake early, but it does not necessarily have to be done before the First Dance. Doing your First Dance after cutting your wedding cake is a bit more non-traditional.

c. After the first course.
Why you might want to do this:
Some couples will choose to do their first dance immediately after the first course (often the salad) of the meal. This can serve to fill some time between the salad and the meal. The dance is done early, so it does not cut into dancing time after the meal is ended. At the same time, it is not done at the beginning, before the meal, so it doesn’t keep people waiting to eat.

Why you might not want to do this:
Once you sit down to eat, you may not want any interruptions to your meal.

When couples choose to do their first dance after the first course, they will often combine it with the cake cutting.

d. Immediately after the meal.
Why you might want to do this:
A. You want to keep all the ceremonial dances together, and you’ve chosen to do them at the end of the meal to avoid having your guests wait for their meals at the beginning.
B. Rather than getting thrust into the spotlight upon your arrival at the reception, you want a chance to sit down and relax for a while.

Why you might not want to do this:
A. It’s an early reception, people ate a bit at the cocktail hour, so they won’t be too hungry, and you want to do the first dance early.
B. Waiting until the end of the meal means that the dance floor can’t be opened, and you’d like to let your guests dance a bit (with the permission of the function hall) during dinner.
C. You’d like to get a lot of the formalities done early so you can relax and not have to worry about them.

What most couples do:
Most couples do the first dance immediately after getting announced into the reception area, even if they save the cake cutting and other formal dances for later.


3. What song should you choose for your first dance?
Some possible choices:
a. The first slow song you ever danced together.
b. A slow song whose lyrics hold a special meaning for you two.
c. One of the many popular first dance songs (ask your DJ/Band)
d. A slow song that’s currently popular specifically as a first dance song.
e. A song that fits your theme. (eg. Swing Era: “The Way You Look Tonight” - Frank Sinatra; Country: “I Cross My Heart” - George Strait; Flowers: “Kiss From A Rose” - Seal; Beach: “Sea Of Love” - Honeydrippers).
f. Take dance lessons and try a fast first dance song, or a ballroom dance.

What happens if we can’t agree on a first dance song?
Sometimes, the Bride and Groom can’t agree on a first dance song - The Bride wants one song, and the Groom wants another. In this case, you can use one of the songs as your first dance song, and use the other as your last dance song. Or, you can use one dance song as the first dance song, and use the other as a special dedication to the Bride from the Groom, (or vice versa) to be played sometime during the dance portion of the reception.


4. How can you modify the first dance to make it different?
Some possible ideas: 
a. Combine it with the Wedding Party Dance
b. Combine it with the Parent Dances
c. Have your wedding party blow bubbles as you dance

a. Combine it with the Wedding Party Dance
Instead of having a separate wedding party dance, have your wedding party join you 1/2 way through your first dance.

b. Combine it with the Parent Dances
Version 1 - Parent Dance takes place first
In this non-traditional approach, the Parent Dances take place first, with the Bride and her father, and the Groom and his mother out on the dance floor at the same time. At the conclusion of the parent dance song, or on cue about half way through the parent dance song, the bride gets a kiss from her dad, and the groom gets a kiss from his mom. The parents then hand the bride and groom off to each other, and they proceed to dance their first dance as a married couple.
A different scenario can be used if the groom will not be doing a Parent Dance either because his mother is deceased, or for some other reason. In this version, the Bride does the Parent Dance with her dad, and about half way through, the Groom taps the Bride’s father on the shoulder and cuts in. Again, the Bride’s father would give the Bride a kiss before handing her off to the Groom.

Version 2 - First Dance takes place first.
Still one more version starts off with the Bride & Groom dancing together in their first dance. Half way through the song, the Father of the Bride taps the Groom on the shoulder and cuts in. The Groom then goes to ask his Mother to dance, and finishes out the rest of the song as the Parent Dance.
Your choice of music for these types of Parent/First Dance combinations is crucial. In other words, you probably do not want to use a song like “Butterfly Kisses” because of its specific Bride-Father connotation. Something like “What A Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong, “Because You Loved Me” by Celine Dion, or “Always And Forever” by Heatwave would be appropriate.

c. Have your wedding party blow bubbles as you dance
As your wedding party enters the hall they pick up a bottle of bubbles and proceed to form a semi-circle on the dance floor. As they reach their spot on the dance floor, they begin to blow bubbles. By the time you are introduced onto the dance floor it is filled with bubbles, and you proceed to dance your First Dance on a bubble-filled dance floor. The bubbles can be used again at the end of the evening as you dance your Last Dance.

What most couples do:
Most couples have the first dance as a stand alone dance. Many have the wedding party join 1/2 way through. Combining it with the Parent Dances is rarer.


One other note. If a first dance song is over about 5 minutes long, and/or you don’t want to dance to a whole song, then don’t. Ask the DJ/Band to cut it short at an appropriate place in the song. You may want to review this with your music professional beforehand, or leave it up to his/her discretion.