You would like to have a secular (non-religious) ceremony, your fiancé would like a Jewish ceremony, and your parents would like you to have a Christian ceremony. What to do???

Wedding Ceremonies Are Often A Mix Of Values

First of all, know that it is ok to have all three elements in your wedding. There is no magical rule of the universe that says your ceremony must reflect only one particular religious or spiritual value. Inter-faith weddings are becoming more and more common, as well as weddings where secular and religious values are both part of the mix.

Use Different Parts Of Your Ceremony To Reflect Different Values

One way to help satisfy various values is to have specific parts of the ceremony dedicated to those values. In other words, you can have a largely secular ceremony with a few specific religious elements added. One of those elements can be music!

Using Music To Represent Various Values

As mentioned in a previous article, "music soothes the savage beast," and you may be able use music as a negotiating tool to soothe some agitated emotions and create a satisfying compromise for all.

For instance, one of the aforementioned ‘elements' of your ceremony could be a traditional or inspirational piece or pieces of religious (either Christian or Jewish or both) music. If you decide to have a ceremony that does not mention a deity, the piece could be an instrumental. If you decide to have a ceremony that only makes reference to ‘God' rather than a specific deity like Jesus or Yahweh, you may want to choose a vocal piece that does the same.

There Are Many Ways - Music Is One

Of course, you can also use special rituals, or poems, or readings to display the various values you would like to represent. In fact, there are probably an infinite number of ways that different values can be demonstrated in a marriage ceremony. But whatever the situation, remember the music, and see if it can be used as one of the elements to help you to meet others' needs while being true to your own.

So you've chosen some great music for your wedding. Now let's address how many songs are really needed for, and where they will fit into, your ceremony.

Copyright (c) 2020 John Scuto LLC