THE TOAST

Toasting the Bride & Groom is a traditional part of a wedding ceremony and, if included in the festivities, often comes immediately before the meal begins.

{Need Toasting Glasses for your Wedding?}

Some Questions To Consider:
1. Do you want to be toasted?
2. Who do you want to have give toast(s)?
3. When will the toast(s) take place?


1. Do you want to be toasted?
Why you might want to do this:
A. It’s traditional, and it gives your Honor Attendant(s) a chance to publicly give you their best.

Why you might not want to do this:
A. Your Honor Attendant(s) are terribly shy.
B. You are terribly shy, and you don’t want to spend one more minute in the spotlight than you have to.


2. Who do you want to have give toast(s)?
Some choices:
a. The Best Man
b. The Maid/Matron of Honor
c. Anyone else who wants to
d. Yourselves

a. The Best Man
The Best Man traditionally toasts the Bride and Groom. 

b. The Maid/Matron of Honor
This is becoming more common. While we have seen a toast by the Best Man only, it is rare that one is given by the Maid/Matron of Honor only to the exclusion of the Best Man. We don’t know what the etiquette is on this, but we assume it will only be a matter of time before it happens more frequently.

c. Anyone else who wants to
You may have a brother, sister, parent, another member of the wedding party, or a special friend give a toast. This is perfectly acceptable. Just be conscious of the time, especially if toasts are being given just before the meal.
There is another practice called the English Toast, where anyone who wants to give a toast can do so. If you decide on an English Toast, we recommend that it be done during the meal time. You might also want to combine this English Toast with the traditional Bride & Groom kissing during the meal. In other words, instead of allowing your guests to clink glasses, the person must toast you in order to get you to kiss.

d. Yourselves
It is becoming more common for the bride and groom to toast their parents and/or the wedding party as a thank-you for all they’ve done. This would typically be done after all the other formal toasts are completed.


3. When will the toast(s) take place?
Two general choices:
a. Before the meal, immediately before or immediately after the blessing. (We discuss this in question 4 of “The Blessing of the Meal”)
b. After the meal.
Choice “b”, after the meal, is unusual, but it can be done.

Why you might want to do it before the meal:
A. If the toasts are short, you may want to get them done right up front, before the meal, rather than waiting for later.
B. If the toast givers are nervous about the toast, it may be better to get it done early, so that the meal can be enjoyed worry-free.
C. If you don’t have a lot of formalities up front, so your guests haven’t been waiting long. 

Why you might want to do it after the meal:
If you are going to have a number of formalities (ie. First Dance, Wedding Party Dance, Cake Cutting, etc.) before the meal, you may want to hold the toasts for later, rather than make your guests wait even longer for dinner. This is especially true if there will be several toasts, and/or the toasts will be long.

What most couples do:
Most couples will choose the very traditional route. That is, they will have the Best Man toast them after the blessing, and before the meal. More couples are including the Maid/Matron of Honor as a toast giver after the Best Man.