THE BLESSING OF THE MEAL

The wedding party has been introduced, everyone is seated, and now it's time to eat. A blessing can kick off the meal.

Some Questions To Consider:
1. Do you want to have a blessing of the meal?
2. Who do you want to have give the blessing?
3. How do you want the blessing worded?
4. When will the blessing take place?


1. Do you want to have a blessing of the meal?
Why you might want to do this:
A. It is traditional
B. You or some of your guests are religious
C. It’s done at all of your family’s weddings
D. The clergy member who married you is coming to the reception and has offered to do it

Why you might not want to do this:
A. You and your guests aren’t particularly religious
B. It’s never done at any of your family’s weddings

What most couples do:
Most couples have a blessing of the meal, but to not have one is not unusual.


2. Who do you want to have give the blessing?
Some possible choices:
a. As mentioned above, the clergy or celebrant who married you. (In fact, if that person is there, they should be given first consideration)
b. The Father of the Bride or the Father of the Groom. (They can even do it together)
c. Another family member or friend.
d. The DJ/Master of Ceremonies.

What most couples do:
If the celebrant is not there, most pick a family member.


3. How do you want the blessing worded?
Two possible choices:
a. Mentioning a specific deity
b. Avoiding the mention of a specific deity
This decision depends mainly on your own beliefs and those of your guests. For example, if this is a Christian wedding, then the mention of Christ is almost a given. If you and your spouse have different religious backgrounds, you may want to have blessings given that reflect those two religions, either in the same blessing, or in two different blessings given by perhaps two different people. (eg. your priest and your rabbi)
If you are not particularly religious, but you are spiritual, you may want to have a general blessing mentioning “god” only. If your guests come from many different religious backgrounds, or if you aren’t sure about their backgrounds, you might want to have a general blessing.

What most couples do:
Most weddings have had a general blessing.


4. When will the blessing take place? 
Two Possible Choices:
a. Before the toast
b. After the toast, and immediately before the meal
The obvious first answer to this question is before the meal. But, does the blessing come before or after the toast? It’s entirely up to you. Proponents of the “toast first” method say that since it is a blessing of the meal, it should come immediately before eating. Having the toast after the blessing seems to not make sense.
Proponents of the “blessing first” method say that the toast is a drink, and as such, it is part of the meal. Also, they say that although the Groom and Bride are king and queen of the day, God comes before royalty, and therefore should be honored first, before the newly married couple.

What most couples do:
Most couples do the blessing first, and then the toast. We think this is also the most traditional way.